July 12, 2012 2:31am
"In my female friends' minds, I'm always the ideal boyfriend on that emotional level."
The worse feeling in a friendship with the opposite sex is being put in the most uncomfortable position of being a "great friend" to that female, and nothing more. I think about situations in the past where I've known my homeboys to be put in the circle that is virtually impossible to penetrate. This is a circle that, if you're put in, you're more than likely going to stay in it due to fears and uncertainty. This circle I'm referring to is what everyone calls, "The Friend Zone".
Now, every dude had a moment where they were digging one of their home girls that they would chill with on a consistent basis. She would be the chick that he could talk to, treat like one of the fellas, and be able to go out in public and be as fun and outgoing towards without any regrets about obnoxiousness. There becomes a connection between him and her, and for a while, he just doesn't want to react to it, simply because, he thinks that she might not go for the chance to date him. It's rare to get an opportunity to date a friend that you know well, and that you have some kind of connection with personally and in depth. But, when the guy decides to go in for the kill, it comes to an abrupt halt. She hits him with, "I don't want to mess up what we have", or "I like you, as a 'friend'", and it automatically backfires.
See, the worse thing about being in the friend zone is that they always see themselves with someone like their "best friend", and yet, the dude is never the person that they see themselves with. He can have all the qualities that they've looked for in a man, and somehow, he still don't meet the requirements. How is it possible that two people click the way they do, and never be in a relationship. Here's a few reasons why that happens:
1. FEAR OF LOSING A FRIEND- She doesn't want to take the risk of losing a friend, but wants to maintain a friendship she knows she won't lose.
2. SHE IS UNCERTAIN WITH HERSELF- She's looking for specific types of guys, and instead of having faith that she'll get what is necessary for her, she continues to react and attract all the wrong types of guys.
3. PHYSICAL FEATURES/TOO MANY WANTS- Everything that she's looking for physically in a guy, isn't in the guy that is her friend.
When situations like that happen, it's simple. She's looking for the guy to be the ideal man she is looking for, and still be a friend to her. That's why the conversations about her failed relationships come to his ears. When she cries, it's usually with him on the other end. When she's mad, he's the one that can calm her down and put a smile on her face. With these in mind, I've accepted that role.
Now, the reason why I put myself in the friend zone is because, I can express the things I would do, how I would treat her, how well things are going for me, what's not going well for me, past emotions, and other situations that I've been in. BUT, here's how I feel about putting myself in the friend zone. I feel that it can actually help you better relationships with your good friend that you had feelings for, and use it to the best of your advantage at the RIGHT time. Truth is, when you know your woman, and are her best friend, lover, ears, pillow to sleep on, tissue to blow her nose, those relationships are so much more healthier than growing into a relationship. Plus, you get to prove that you are a better person and that you won't leave her hanging although the decisions she made aren't what you agree on.
I feel that I've put myself in the friend zone for a long time basically because I felt that with certain friends I had no chance with. Now, I've grown to understand that you know who you can challenge yourself to choose and get, and then, you can step back and just understand women through your friends. Either way, you can always gain something from your experiences.
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